Too often we give children answers to remember instead of problems to solve.
The kind of adult who develops from your child usually depends on the kind of training and upbringing you give him/her. It is a rare occurrence to find children who turn out vastly different from the kind of training they received. How a child is raised usually influences how he sees the world whilst growing and when he becomes an adult. He also has the tendency to teach his children the same things he was taught. If you are passionate about raising strong children who create transgenerational impact and don’t become a carbon copy of others, read on.
The principle of purpose is at play in every natural or artificial interaction. There are needs that specific products, services, inventions etc. is created to meet. There’s no reason to believe that God does any less. He determined the purpose for each person and determined the design that would aid the person to fulfil purpose before creating the person. There’s a purpose for you parenting that child. God has a purpose for giving you that specific child and no other. God chose you to be the first point of contact the child has with the world for a reason.
A prudent parent is the one who teaches the child the principle and value of purpose. Giving your child the opportunity to think for themselves and understand the reasons behind the things you do will prep them to begin the search for personal and specific purpose earlier than most people. Explain to him/her why you buy him scrabble instead of water gun, why he gets no present at Christmas when he performs badly in school, it doesn’t matter if he grasps the picture very early or later in his childhood, make sure you show your child the importance and principles of purpose.
Cause and effect walk hand-in-hand with the principle of purpose. Teaching your child purpose, you raise a child/adult conscious of all that happens around him. Dr Myles Munroe of blessed memory said, “where the purpose of a thing isn’t known, abuse is inevitable“. Don’t create room for your child to abuse his gifts, aptitudes and even stature or body form.
A child/adult who understands purpose is someone who understands the reason why he is designed in a particular way and different from everyone else. This child grows into an adult who doesn’t hate himself or others because of how they are. Trust me, you’d be doing the world a lot of good when you bring up your children to understand purpose.
This goes without saying that, as a parent, you must understand the principle of purpose and be living it to be able to fully explain all its nuances to your child. Purpose differentiates dead people from the living. There are a lot of living dead around, don’t add more to it. God is the best resource to start with on learning about and teaching purpose. I have personally learned a lot from Dr Myles Munroe about purpose, I’d recommend him.
Giving is a universal principle that produces returns whether you ask for it or not. Once you give the earth seed, it provides you with returns. If you bring up children who are tight-fisted, you risk adults who may find it difficult to let go or adjust for a better life. Teach your children to give the little they have, force them to share that small cake if you must. The chains of hoarding need to be attacked and broken not managed.
Giving is a trait you need to be aggressive in teaching your children. There is more blessing in giving than in receiving – for when you forget. Could there be a reason most Western nations seem to always have enough to hand down to Africa? Could it be because we’ve handed them all the blessings in giving by just being happy recipients?
Your child who is comfortable with giving will grow into someone who loves good-naturedly without fear about whether others return the love or not. People who love and give are always looking for opportunities to be of use to others. That right there is how entrepreneurs, inventors, problem solvers are born. I’m not saying all inventors and entrepreneurs are givers or vice versa. All I’m saying is this: raise your child to give and he wouldn’t have a difficulty solving society’s problems by offering his skills, expertise and experience to solve those problems.
You can’t give what you don’t have, hence you need to learn the art and principle of giving to be able to impart it. Start from today, once you have life, you can learn to give and to love. When you give you realise you don’t have time to worry about a lot of things. The seeds you sow bring you returns when you are in your toughest situations. The amazing thing about giving is that God doesn’t reward you by necessarily giving back what you gave, sometimes he gives you mercy, favour and protection that your money, energy or time could never buy. Invest time, energy and passion and into raising GIVERS.
Change and Letting go:
The only constant in life is change. Change happens every day, in both dramatic and subtle ways. A child (turned adult) who embraces the concept of change instead of running from it would do the whole world a planet of good. The bible speaks of seasons for everything, which emphasizes that things wouldn’t stay same always, they would definitely change. And an adult/child who understand this is the one who can thrive when they do change.
It is great for your child to be aware of change, but most important is teaching your child to objectively weigh the change coming in. Teach him to be discerning in what kind of change he allows, some changes are good, others are just there to ruin you. Let him learn how to position himself for change and adjust to it as often as needed.
Most often, letting go isn’t a big deal for the individual who acknowledges and expects change. He enjoys the moment and makes the most out of it and when the time comes to let go, does so without any form of regrets. This is because anticipating and acknowledging that change will happen teaches you to make the most of the time you have. Children learn clinging at a very early stage, it’s your duty to rescue them from that natural mindset and direct them towards being change advocates and not change adversaries.
Make room for change in your child’s daily routines, vary his reward packages, undertake exercises with him that help him understand the volatility of life. Educate him to wean himself from holding on and hoarding to embrace change and living a day at a time. The earlier he learns to make the most out of everything, the earlier he learns to adjust to life’s varying situations and seasons.
Objectivity and Curiosity:
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, he who doesn’t ask remains a fool forever – Chinese Proverb
The future belongs to those who aren’t afraid of questioning things as they are and I believe you want your children to be part of the privileged few. Being objective for the purposes of this write-up is simply not swallowing everything hook, line and sinker. Children sometimes tend to believe everything you tell them without as much as a lifted eyebrow. Mostly because they have faith in those who are relating whatever story it is to them.
There are instances of children refusing to “unlearn” what their teachers teach them at school. The onus then falls on you as a parent to help your child see the relevance of keeping an open mind. This isn’t geared towards leaving them to not believe in anything but rather teaching them to believe in things because the evidence convinces them.
“There is nothing like stupid questions, stupid people don’t ask questions.” Some people feel uncomfortable when you ask so many questions, others feel bad for asking those questions. But truth be told, when you ask questions, you open yourself to new possibilities and new paths that otherwise would be out of reach. You would be doing your child a great favour when you place him on the path to feeling comfortable with asking searching questions, questions that dissect any information he feeds on. Questions that set new inventions in motion.
Don’t scream at him or “shush” him when he asks questions. Open your mind and try to answer as many of his questions as you can. Even if it means homeschooling your kid for sometime before rushing him off to a nursery, do so. Time spent teaching and socializing your own child can’t ever compare to the amount of money you’d raise for them to have a so-called better life. When you teach your kid well and early, he is able to change his own life at a very early age. Create the environment!!
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