Hey everyone, this is the first post I cried whilst writing. It took me some time getting back to my normal self after crying. I cried because I struggle with some of these questions, but I cried more because the Holy Spirit showed me how Christ our firstborn feels when we disobey him and misappropriate His sacrifice and when we don’t even regard Him as our leader. But the Holy Spirit comforted me with this song. So if you finish reading and can so relate to the point of crying, just remember God still loves you and you’re definitely not alone in your struggles to be a blessing to your younger siblings. Enjoy reading!!
Am I pushing too hard?
Am I being as responsible as I should?
Am I a good leader?
Is there anything worth learning from me?
Should my siblings repeat my mistakes?
Would I be wise if I try to prevent them?
Do they think I behave like I know it all?
Would I be able to live if I mess it all up?
Can we have a great relationship without they feeling choked?
Can I who has never been a protégé be a mentor to them?
What do I do when they misunderstand my intentions?
How do I deal with myself if I don’t correct them?
Would I ever turn out like mom and dad?
Am I their worst or best experiment?
What do mom and dad expect from me?
Do I need to get them a new house?
Do I need to paint the old house?
Do I need to foot all their bills till they lose their teeth?
Just like they did for me till I grew my teeth?
How can I ever repay mom and dad?
To what extents should I go?
When work is fluid and I’m stressed, could there be a much more deeply seated problem?
Like a feeling of helplessness because no one will pay attention to me?
Do people recognize my calling?
That I have the same ministry as Christ?
Being the first among many sons?
Do they realize my struggle choosing whether to lay down my life or keep it?
Do they realize how stubbornly I want my siblings to be better than myself?
Can they relate to the ‘let this cup pass over me’ times?
The hurt, the tears, the strength exhibited when I realize how heavy a burden I have?
Do they even notice when I willingly go the cross because I know through my death, the others will do mightier things?
Is my sacrifice in vain?
Please tell me my sacrifice isn’t in vain, tell me that my love is appreciated and valued.
Tell me that my death, my sacrifice, my choosing to ignore school so all of you could have an education is worth it.
Tell me that mom and dad don’t consider me a failure because I gave up my good for you.
Tell me that you respect my decision to sacrifice for you.
The firstborn often has no friend,
We face a lot of pressure,
But sometimes our experiences don’t become a treasure,
If too successful, we become intimidating comparisons,
If absolute failures according to the human eye, we become ‘never go there point of references’,
Sometimes we are persecuted by the very same people we wish to save,
They see our efforts as condescending or irritating.
Please don’t get annoyed if we drive you nuts,
It’s just because we don’t want you towing our failure lines,
We want you to be the smart one, who learns from our mistakes and maximizes to achieve better.
If you know a firstborn, maybe you should show them some love.
You never know what they suffered because of you.
Cherish the firstborn, cause most of us are afraid of the intensity of our calling,
We pray that it may pass over, but we still get chosen because we’ve been imbued with the strength,
Remind us when we feel like giving up.
Give your spouse who is a firstborn, some love,
Show your elder sibling some support,
You never know what they are dealing with.
To all the firstborn children out there. We appreciate your hustle!
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