I have been trapped in my own world,
restricted by my own thoughts,
my feelings I couldn’t fully express.
The only emotions I expressed were the extreme joy and happiness,
to everyone I was the free, merry spirit,
never suspecting that being emotional was forbidden.
Forbidden not by any divine rules, but my own,
afraid of all that being sensitive and emotional will cost me,
not sure whether I would profit or lose by reacting to all things.
Sometimes I just wish I could scream “I love you”, so you understand how much you mean to me,
alas, that may be dangerous, you might even take me for granted,
thinking I love too hard and long,
so restricted I’ll be, even when your words tickle me and make my heart linger;
it’s forbidden to show emotions; it’ll just weaken me.
I’ll keep living in my own world of “made-up” strength,
protecting my already fragile heart from wear and tear,
if I refuse to pick your calls or reply your messages, just know that I’m probably there and yet gone.
Mimispassion © 2016